It was a regular day, in the huge field they call a campground in the Amana Colonies, Iowa. I was on the phone, talking to Terry, and had the computer in front of me, with Microsoft Streets and Trips running. Microsoft Outlook was running. Microsoft Internet Explorerm wasup with four or five tabs open. And there was another Explorer with some other tabs open. I had Word up and also Access. Maybe Passport America Campground finder. Those are the one’s I remember. We talked, I listened and switched from window to window.
As the conversation drew to a close, so did the activity on my PC. Really drew to a close. It stopped. Completely. Frozen with the so helpful egg timer. The sand isn’t moving.
I waited. And waited. A long time. Then, sure there was no sign of activity I would be messing with, I held the power switch down….for five seconds. Five seconds is a long time to wait for the end of life as we know it. If the worst happens, which we always expect, despite the best advice mankind can provide, the computer will be fried. Fried toast. Fried eggs. Fried is not good.
The best is OK, but there are so many not best possibilities that best is completely drowned out in the din of disaster.
OK…so the computer is off.
I notice the computer is hot. Not a bit warm. Not hotter than usual. Not, “Wow that thing can really put out some heat”. This is, “Hey, that could burn me” heat.
Aside…I have tried to kill a gnat flying over the keyboard and have hurt my hands three times on sure kills. He/she is still hovering. Anyone know what Raid does to a keyboard? Ah Ha! (Love those) I killed the bastard, and three more flew by in perfect formation! It’s a conspiracy.
I think real writers must believe that there is an audience they are speaking to. It is still very hard to write with an audience of one or two or three (Thanks for the comments guys.) I just had a “Talking to myself” moment.
Back to my story…
PC is hot, and off.
I took it out into the record low temperature Iowa September. Set it on the trucks hood until it cooled. That took about 10 minutes in temps near 50. Brought it in, plugged it in, and hoped.
The screen jumped at me, scrolling characters, in those “Things didn’t work out so well last time, would you like to be Safe this time” way. Lots of choices, lots of information. Before I could even begin reading, there was a box on the screen, reminiscent of 1980 programming, that said, simply, clearly, “Enter Password”.
Nothing more.
OK. I know I am not into Windows. Not yet. This was before Windows. This was the bowels of the computer growling. This was some chip speaking directly to me through the lexan of the display. This was bad. I knew that almost before I read the words. There is no password here. There is no here, here. This is a place that the computer keeps to itself.
I hit the power switch to see if I could convince it to forget that it didn’t know who I was. Back on, and the request for a password was there without the scrolling information. Not to belabor the point, but I tried twenty combinations of startup with or without a key press, and was none the wiser.
Okay, I’ll play. password, Password, PASSWORD, Admin, ADMIN, admin, administ (only 8 characters available), Administ, ADMINIST, A135, a135, Toshiba, toshiba, TOSHIBA,TOSHA135,A135Tosh,A135TOSH,A135tosh…..
For about an hour.
Then I pulled out the Toshiba recovery disk. As I suspected, it calmly told me that this wonderful little disk would help recover your computer. First it would format your disk drive, completely removing all data you have, so please back up before using. (Yes, you can hear what I screamed at the brilliant author of that bit – If I could back up….!!!)
I was desperate. I stuck it in and turned the PC on. “Enter Password”. “Grrrr…”
As I am reading the small print on the recovery disk, I see a phone number. What time is it in Azerbajan? I dial frantically. “Hi, Thank you for calling very much to Azerbajani Toshiba, sir. How may I be of service to you sir if I may ask Sir, very much thanks to6 you?” My computer broke! “Well, thank you very much for that sir. May I place you on hold for a minute while I try to translate that into Hindi, sir, thank you, so very much, sir.”
After about 600 Thank you, sir’s and a half dozen sincere requests for permission to place me on hold for exactly one or two or (serious problem) three minutes, while he checked on a solution, he finally found a real answer! The password is a randomly generated number requiring a reset by a technician. OK, where is that technician? You can send it in or drop it off. OK, Bangaladesh…get a map up on your screen. I am in Amana Colonies, Iowa, heading for Philadelphia. Draw a line between those places and tell me what’s close.
Now, I know this guy has zero information on US geography, and all he understands is that entering a zip code or state will give him names of cities with service centers. And he’s trying, really. So I bend a bit. I suggest Iowa. All sites are in the wrong direction. How about Illinois. I swear he said Moline. Perfect. Where’s the Moline tech? Moline? Where is that , sir? You just said Moline. No sire, where is it, I’ll look it up.
OK…no need to belabor the Moline point. No Moline. Read the Illinois sites to me. He reads 10 sites, and on my Southeastern United States AAA Map, I find Chicago, Peoria and one other. But hot damn, Peoria is right on my way! The mojo is back!
Flash ahead to today, the 13th. I got up really early. It was dark! Break camp and get in the truck to back up to the popup. Turn the key. CLICK! That’s not the sound a truck makes when it works right. Before my heart has restarted, I turn the key again, and it starts! I didn’t even stop to think what that could have meant.
By 9:30 am I’m 150 miles away in Peoria and Kandy has the computer running like a jewel in less than an hour. I am saved! Off I go, eastward, and I won’t even talk about the construction all over Indianapolis, or the sign I saw too late that said “No Trailers In Construction Zone”. I made it!
No WiFi here, but who gives a damn! I’ll send this from somewhere.
#END#
No virus found in this outgoing message.
Checked by AVG Free Edition.
Version: 7.5.485 / Virus Database: 269.13.14/999 - Release Date: 9/10/2007 5:43 PM